Status 1-18-15*
HIKING DAY – I didn’t get the most sleep, but good enough to try and get up the mountain to record Day 98. It will be a hybrid bonus episode I think. I don’t have energy for a full show prep, but I want to say hi to some new BCs and Suz sent me some brave audio I think is quite powerful about the origins of feeling alone and why we may learn distrust of self and others.
Gentle exercise will make me feel better. The outdoors is great for lifting mood. Might be the sunlight, or just the connection we feel as part of nature. Talking may also help. We’ll just have to see if I can whip up the energy to tell stories on the mic today.
Yesterday’s voice acting was mixed in my mind. I truly enjoyed my sessions with my coach, David Babich, and came away feeling more confident. Coach David gave me great advice, “Stop thinking of yourself as a student in a class, think of yourself as a voice actor increasing your skill level.” We worked on the dreaded piggy bank voice that so floored me in beginning VO class and I felt good about our progress. We also worked on a couple of monologues. If the sound is good enough, I’ll play part of that for you on day 98. Though my coach, David, has a sound booth in his home, we weren’t recording that way, so the sound will be bouncing and have more ambient noise etc.
Right after my session with David, off I went to regular class in the recording studio. “I’m a voice actor, I can do this,” I kept telling myself. However, between start of class and my turn in the booth, nerves got me. My takes weren’t god awful, but I had several minutes of uncomfortable feedback to live through after them, and besides feeling that I hadn’t lived up to my own expectations, I felt I had let David down. I had wanted to do really well, so I could tell everyone how great David had prepped me.
Now I admit that lots of this EXTREMELY critical feeling and dread is generated by me. The style of our regular class feedback is very much ‘call a spade a spade and don’t pull the mocking punches’ as well as praise when you nail it. It is good to toughen up because, Voice Acting, like all acting, is so competitive, you can’t let this get to you. However, dealing with this style of feedback when you are already going through depression is very challenging.
I’m proud though, because I was extremely stressed during my monologue and still I didn’t stutter or have an actual brain freeze, I just kept telling myself,”I’m a voice actor increasing my skill with this feedback,” and tolerated it, I won’t lie though, I was GLAD to escape that booth and felt much better when we got to dialogues with scene partners.
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Body Balance
BB (Body Balance) 6.5. Sleep 5 hours undivided. Tummy/Gut balanced and playing nice. Not hungry within one hour of waking, but I’m also up early. Will eat hiking breakfast. Energy Moderate. Mood mildly hopeful.
BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.
If you are interested these are my measures.
- Sleep. Quality and Amount.
- Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
- Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
- What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
- A quick look at my mood.
The Bravery Coach
TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:
Happy G’day Sunday friend!!!
So glad for the positives
I can only imaging what your dealing with & going thru. I live with it in ppl in my life but not myself on a ‘diagnosed’ clinical level. To think anyone goes thru life without depression is absurd thinking lol
I’m trying really hard to make a habit change. The food foraging seems to have crept back. To cease this undesired behavior I must change the habit enabling it to occur. I’ve got to stop the habitual visits to or just sitting in the kitchen. It’s serving NO OTHER purpose then enlisting the thoughts around food foraging etc. I need to stay out of there once I’m physically sated. Like in the evenings etc
The next thing is creating more ‘single serving’ portioned snacks and/or treats to have in these instances. And although that seems counter productive part of the ‘problem’ with the food foraging is the ‘out of control’ feelings I experience that I hate. It’s like a ravenous uncontrolled action. I don’t like how it takes over and consumes me, so having that ‘portion’ ends the foraging part….. Dipping in the cereal box… A few chips… A cpl tastes of this… And then that… At least if I’m driven to go in and eat it’s a ‘portion/serving’ not just random out of control-ness.
Wish me luck lol
Hi Dawny, I agree that changing a habit can begin with just plain changing it. Like when you find yourself in the kitchen not at meal time or when not really hungry immediately do 3 jumping jacks – it’s like snapping a rubber band to get your own attention. Promise yourself you can go forage, but FIRST THE JACKS – then you may have that moment to realize what the trigger was. If you can in the end, solve the trigger that is driving you into the kitchen, it will be much easier for you. For example, is it stress? Then maybe 10 Jumping Jacks. Need to give yourself permission to relax? Maybe doing a night yoga DVD at the time you usually head for the kitchen. It’s all a learning process, and it sounds like you are well on your way to figuring it out. I’m loving hearing about your journey. It’s encouraging. xoxoxoxox