Photo by Bruce Kingsbury for openphoto.net
The Origin of the Brave Companions
I discovered my name for the listeners and participants of Compulsive Overeating Diary in episode 19. You are Brave Companions because all who listen and participate here are:
- brave to learn something about themselves, to consider change, or just to think about what may be under some of our issues with food.
- companions because we support each other and share a common journey — even though our paths may be different.
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Role Call – Who are you?
This page is a place for you, Brave Companion, to tell a bit about your own story, to list anything you would like in order for other brave companions to get to know you better or to join you in support. It is also a place for all Brave Companions to discover new connections and to realize they are not alone. This is a safe place to be who you are, to feel how you feel, and to express what you’d like to say.
Put yourself on the Bravery Report!
All bravery should be celebrated. Come say Hooray on the Bravery Report page by commenting and telling about your bravery and/or downloading your own Bravery Report certificate.
Certificate for Listening to ALL of the episodes so far
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Get your certificate of completion PDF if you’ve binge listened your way ALL through the episodes or if you have followed along from the start. It’s your reward for all of the brave listening you’ve done. Thanks so much for spending so much time with me! If you open the PDF with Acrobat or Acrobat Reader, you can type your name in the fillable field prior to printing out your certificate. Otherwise, you can print your certificate and write your name in by hand.
I’m Laurie. I’ve been struggling with food issues for over 50 years. I love to talk, I love to draw, tell stories, ride bikes, hike, cook, pet cats and fool around with audio and video projects. I’d like to be able to sing out loud in public. My first dream in life was to live in NYC and draw Spiderman for Marvel Comics. I love Star Wars, Star Trek, and Wishing on Stars. You can find me as ToonaCat on Sparkpeople, LaurieDreamWeaver on instagram and AdventureLaurie on Twitter.
Hey there! I’m Cheryl. I live with one foot in reality, the other in whatever fantasy world I find myself at the time. You can find me on SparkPeople (and most everywhere else) as Calensariel. I’m going to be 63 next month and I’ve decided it’s just too soon to get old! One hubby, two grown kids (son and daughter — both married, but son separated), three gorgeous grandsons, and an adorable granddoggie. I love anything Tolkien or Elvish (my screen name is actually translated from two of Tolkien’s Elvish languages, Quenya and Sindarin. Calen (green), sar (stone), iel (female ending). My birthstone is emerald, so I became the Green Stone Maiden.) Also love scifi/fantasy, Gothic mysteries, and the classics (Jane Austen is my favorite). And at this late stage in life I’ve developed an almost obsessive interest in WWII. I’ve been just a few lbs, away from my goal weight three different times since 2005, but I just can’t seem to make that last 15 lbs. And when I don’t… Well, you know what happens when we fail. I rebound right back into the fridge!
Hi, I’m Sue, one of our Brave Companions from the UK. I’m 53 and have been overweight since giving birth to my 3 lovely children. Last year I managed to lose at least some of the weight in time for my son’s wedding. Since then I became ill for several months and the pounds returned along with others. I eat for all sorts of wrong reasons and am trying to explore better ways of dealing with those feelings. I’ve had some major long-standing issues to deal with and have made huge progress with the help of my psychotherapist and the support of church friends.
I work in an independent school doing data analysis in various forms. I enjoy the opportunities I have had at school to participate in a choir and orchestra again. I like logic and strategy computer games, which is my primary form of relaxation.
Hello, I am Michelle, I am a long time binge/compulsive eater, I have started therapy for my binge eating and am really excited about this and am feeling some progress Yea! I am the single parent of two great teenage daughters who are the center of my life. I enjoy swimming, kayaking and hiking and am fortunate enough to live in one of the most beautiful locations in Canada.
I am also a quiet, introverted person who also likes reading and listening to audio books, movies and stand up comedy. I am grateful to have found Laurie’s podcast, and am looking forward to the support of the brave companions, and to supporting other brave companions in their recovery.
Hello, I’m Michelle also- lots of us here :). I live in rural Virginia, work from home for a hospital doing medical billing and coding, have one son who is 15 years old and I recently got married, after dating/living together for six years my current husband. I never really struggled at all with my weight in my teen years or my twenties. I think I gained weight in college, but I never really noticed much. I could lose weight pretty easy if I tried so it was never a major issue for me. That all changed when I went through a very painful divorce/child custody battle- in my mid thirties and has continued now into my early forties. I started turning to food for comfort, for stress relief and I just didnt want to feel anything and food works pretty good at numbing you out. It has also been a concern for me since my son has struggled with his weight since he was seven. He has major food issues and its so hard to see someone you love struggle with it and struggle with his weight. I think he also turned to food to get through the pain and is still working on overcoming it also. He also has the same social anxieites that I do, and turns to food in social events for comfort. In the last six months I have done a lot of reading on emotional eating, the compulsion of eating and the mind. Before I always just focused on what to eat- and exercise, just give me a plan and I will follow it but I never did anything about the food triggers so the weight would come back! I finally decided I needed to do something more to understand the issue than than just dieting especially since I need to really help my son get this issue under control too. For hobbies, I love to read, listen to podcasts and garden. We have 8 acres of land, mostly all woods but lots of garden area also for flowers and shrubs. I love the feel of dirt in my hands and love spending time outside. I think I’m an odd mix of half extrovert and half introvert. I enjoy people and socialing a lot but I also spend a lot of time alone outside by myself and I work all day by myself with the only contact with the outside world is my coworkers through email. I like listening to podcasts since I feel less alone during the work day, especially Lauries. I admire how vulnerable and brave she is. Plus I admire how creative she is. I wish I had a more creative job, but at the moment , its not in the cards.
Lots of love to you all,
Michelle Mckinney
Hi, fellow Brave Companions. My name is Sandy and I live in Hollywood, right near the iconic sign! Compulsive eating and weight gain are a relatively new phenomenon to me. However, I do have a history with compulsion when I had anorexia in high school. I thought 800 calories a day was a pretty good plan at the time. More recently, a couple of years ago I was laid off from my job, which was rather difficult. And “somehow” over 20 extra pounds appeared on me. That “somehow” amounted to a lot of unconscious eating to deal with my feelings. Before this becomes a deeply rooted problem, I want to raise my awareness and to handle my feelings in a more positive way. I have already made progress and I feel very hopeful!
Hello Sandy. Welcome. I can relate to your statement of food being a relatively new issue for you, that is true for me too. I have no memory of struggling with food or turning to food as a child or teenager. But I did go through a painful divorce/child custody battle in my thirities that did result in me becoming a comfort eater and binge eater under stress. Glad you are here. I am glad that you feel hopeful, hope is a beautiful thing along with self love and self care. I have learned a lot about soothing myself without food and the importance of getting more comfortable with strong, unpleasant emotions as I have researched binge eating. I’m sure you will learn a lot on your journey too. Kind Regards to you and lots of warm love, Michelle
Thank you so much for your kind words, Michelle!
Hi, I’m Stéfanie, 34, french canadian, mother of a teenager, in a great loving and stable relashionship. I have a wonderful job, I teach full time to college students in a french school, and I mainly teach individual and group counseling skills to future workers in the justice services with youth and adults, as that was my job prior to teaching.
I’ve been struggling with food issues all my life. My earliest memory related to my food issues must of been when I was 5 or 6. My mom brought me to her job and as I was wandering around, I ended up in the staff’s kitchen and ate, in secrecy, 3 full spoons of pure white sugar. Why, I don’t know…
In the last two years, I have lost 100 pounds. At my heaviest, I was 303 pounds (5’6”). Summer 2013, I gained back 25 pounds after a very busy but positive, unfocused moment (This makes me think… is it possible to be mindfull all the time?). Since, I have re-lost those 25 pounds. This morning, I was 203 pounds. It is a hard time lately as I am trying (and not reaching) under that significant 200 pounds mark.
I first lost the pounds on a portion-based diet. Then, in the last 8 months, I’ve introduced exercice… And now, I’m looking to further my journey by attacking my relashionship with food. Motivation alone won’t last forever… I need to make peace with food and stop obsessing with it, stop wanting to control it. I want to break free and to let go.
A big part of my success was my boyfriend. I’ve been in one other serious relashionship before, and this ex was very paternalistic with my weight problem. The complete opposite of my relashionship with my current 5 year boyfriend. He loves me unconditionnaly, thinks I’m very sexy, whatever my weight. It’s when I finally felt really loved unconditionnaly that I started to loose the weight. Isn’t that funny? I am tired of the guilt, the shame, the judgements, the standards of society. I want to contribute to send a new message: society needs to stop judging and start having true compassion. It’s the best route to success.
Hello Stefanie, nice to see your comments. I liked your comment about you now also focusing on the mind aspect of weight loss/ body acceptance. In the past I have always focused on food and exercise and never the mind. As a result my weight has gone up and down for the last 8 years, till now. For the last 5 months I have become a vigorous reader on the topic of the mind and emotions of overeating and weight struggle and I feel that has been the missing piece for me in the weight loss journey. I also have one child, but I have a 15 year old boy. I agree that there is too much pressure to be a certain size or weight. Its important to feel good in your own skin and to feel strong, healthy and comfortable. Glad your boyfriend is so supportive of you and finds you sexy, that is wonderful. Kind Regards to you, Michelle
Hi Stephanie
I can relate so well to your story, what you did at 5/6 yrs old, that was me too. I have been in relationships where I have been called fat and ugly, but have been married to a wonderful man for 14 years – I am 38. My turn around came after meeting him, his unconditional love as you describe led me to love and accept myself.
I think it is always about self love and gratitude and I work on it everyday – once an emotional binge eater, it is always there. I am at a happy weight although it is very rare I step on scales, and I focus more on the fuel and looking for a feeling. I have been able to turn my bad relationship with food into something good and I teach nutrition and cooking skills to young people.
Thank you for reminding me how much my partner helped and I wish you lots of enjoyment on your journey. Let me know if I can help
Love
Kelly (UK)
Sorry for the misspelling Stefanie x
Hey Brave Companions! My name is Crystal. I was mentioned on some of the earlier episodes. I was the girl with the girl scout cookie problem. I am 31 years old, married, no kids, and work as a registered nurse. I have had issues with food since I was 8. I’m not overweight but I do have body dysmorphia. If I get out of a 5 pound range of my ideal weight I start to stress and become a not so nice person. When I am stressed or get anxiety about things I go straight for food. This last winter was really bad. I found myself sneaking to the grocery store to buy anything my heart desired and then devouring it all in the parking lot once in the car. Trying to hide the evidence under the car seat so that my husband wouldn’t find out. Not sure why I thought my husband would even care but in my mind he would and he would criticize me for it. He is such a pillar of support for me and doesn’t let a day go by without telling me how beautiful I am to him no matter how I look. Even with that being verbalized to me everyday I still can not see what he does. (this is how sick the disease has made me) I was promising myself that I would start over tomorrow and throw the left over food away. (It was left over because my stomach hurt so bad that I couldn’t finish it.) Then the next day I would catch myself going through the trash to dig out what I had thrown away the day prior and breaking the promise to myself, followed by guilt and shame. Thus, allowing the viscous cycle to overtake me physically and mentally. I tried to talk about it to some of my closest friends but they couldn’t relate to my obsessive thoughts with cookies or driving to the store to walk up and down the cookie isle/bakery for 20min to talk myself in and out of unnecessary purchases. I joined OA in March by the recommendation of my husband. I went a couple times and felt very welcomed and understood by everyone but the disease was still stronger than me and after a couple weeks I quit going. I even stopped listening to Laurie’s podcasts because it was telling me that I didn’t have a problem and made me almost annoyed at all the joy and advise that was given during it. (Sorry Laurie, I love you!) So now… at some point in the last couple months I stopped with the obsessive thoughts on food. I think it had to do with my mind being overtaken by the stress of a big move. My life is in chaos because my husband and I decided to move to another state on a whim. We are both very COMPULSIVE in many ways. In the last couple months leading up to the move I found that I lost a lot of control with the whole moving situation and my daily routine of things. So to make up for it I started to control my eating. From binging and gaining 10 pounds to now restricting my eating and exercising I’ve lost the 10 plus some. The disease has reared it ugly head yet again but now on the other side of the pendulum. I feel that I still have control over the disease but I am aware of how it could get bad again. During the drive to our new home state I started to really examine my head and found that I really needed some support. So I hooked up the phone to the car speakers and caught up on Laurie’s podcasts from the last couple months. I feel that I am in a better place mentally and physically at this point in time. I just don’t want it to get to be where I start to over exercise and restrict my eating in attempt to get to a body image that is not attainable for my body type. I am happy to be back and loving that Laurie’s podcast has become so popular. Putting a light on an issue that is scary and embarrassing, to most who have it, and giving it a voice! (what a great voice, by the way!) 😉
Hang in there, Crystal! You have a lot of courage and now you have a lot of support!
Good for you for voicing what is going on! Don’t be afraid to seek help when you are ready. You will know if and when the time is right. Hugs xx
Hi Crystal!
Thank you for posting your story. I can really relate to it! You give me the courage to post my (long) story….. soon!
=)
Hello BCs! I’m Courtney.
I will be 40 in 2 months. About 10 years ago I quit work to stay home with my child. Soon afterward I started to feel unwell, and I assumed that it was depression. I have struggled with it all of my life, plus we had just moved across the country and I quit work prior to moving. So many changes all at once! I tried to pull myself up by my bootstraps and do what was expected of me (and what I expected of myself). Of course, I am harder on myself than anyone else could be. Long story short, I began to take comfort in food. The more I ate the bigger I got. The bigger I got the more my joints and muscles would hurt. I blamed myself for my physical problems because I assumed that it was diet and lack of exercise. 8 years later (2 years ago), I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Disease and Fibromyalgia. At least I am able to get help for the physical pain. The emotional pain is worse because I had gone back to school, studied VERY hard to make excellent grades and was poised to go back to work very soon… when I had my first Rheumatoid flare. It was bad. Really bad. Right now, work is not an option. I am able to do housework, and I try to occasionally get out of the house to do things that I enjoy. I isolate a lot, though. M&Ms soothe my pain for the moment. They make me feel loved, accepted and better until the shame sets in that I’ve eaten the whole (large) bag, at once… again! I don’t esteem myself much right now. I have 1 pair of pants that I’m bulging out of. My loved ones don’t fully understand my diseases and why I’ve gained so much weight. I’m so disappointed in myself and feel worthless. I’m seeing a counselor on a regular basis, and we’re making progress. We’re not there yet, though. Life’s a journey, right?
Ahhhh, chocolate. It comforts me. It really isn’t my friend, but for a moment it feels like it. I smoked for 20 years, and when I quit I started stuffing my feelings down with food instead of cigarettes. I have such a difficult time coming to terms with some truths and making some changes. I have so many feelings that I can’t even face to work through, and soothing myself with chocolate is much easier than the healthy route. It is a struggle. A daily struggle. I’m so glad that I found you kind folks.
Knowing that I’m not alone has already lightened the load on my heart. I know that I will find acceptance and understanding here, and hopefully I will be able to offer some encouragement in return.
When I’m NOT binge-eating M&Ms
Uh-oh. The last part of my post was cut-off somehow. I’ll add it later.
Hi Courtney, go ahead and either post again and I’ll delete your first one, or post the second part and I’ll add it to your original. Since I didn’t set up the site to make people register to post comments, I’m the only one who can edit, unfortunately. But you can always post or email me if you want things changed or fixed. Thanks for sharing your story!
Hi there. I only discovered your podcasts a few days ago when messing around in i tunes. Previously downloaded winning the diet war with Dr Nina. Was curious about what else was on offer and your podcast was there. Well what a wonderful resource. Am only on day 6 and there are so many things you say which are resonating with me too. It’s been a revelation. So just to let you know you are doing a great job and please carry on. I will be back here soon once I have caught up a bit. One big thank you from me.
Hi Rachel, I’m so happy to meet you, and welcome as one of us Brave Companions! We are so glad you found us. I’m looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts and feelings as soon as you are ready. Also, thanks for sharing about Dr. Nina’s podcast, it’s one that I didn’t know about and it looks like one I’d love to listen to on my way up the mountain. Thanks again.
xoxoxox
Hello Brave Companions!
I live east of Seattle and I’ve been listening regularly for two months now and I’ve caught up on Laurie’s podcasts. I’m reminded every podcast that you put up, that this is refreshing and not a commercialized approach! I can truly say, I am a Brave Companion!
Up to three years ago. I never thought I had an eating problem but, now after climbing my mountain, I realize food binges started early in life with trying to survive and with a need for wanting people to “like” me…this worked while I was growing up. I always went on a diet with my friends, co-workers etc to support them;) Finally three years ago, I was exhausted and decided to make choices for me! I’ve lost a marriage, family members & friends but, those who loved me, stuck with me! I am grateful everyday! I’ve been writing on paper everyday and trying to catch up with my food issues and how I use a binge to dull the pain (that never goes away) EVERYTHING around me relates to food but, I’m on a mission for my own well being and it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever done and it hurts sooo bad albeit, it’s working!
Glad to meet a fellow Washingtonian Patt, I’m from the Seattle-Tacoma area orginally. You are on the bravery report for sharing your story. Hooray for taking steps to get to know yourself and making your life into more of what you choose it to be. Brava!
Putting myself on the bravery report, per Laurie’s wonderful urging, for being honest, and open regarding my life’s journey thru fighting the diet mentality, and facing the DUMB mental box, and trying to remain confident, and not feeling like a SUPER failure from re-gaining some weight.
Im trying REALLY hard to remember Im still a success, I feel good, my quality of life is good, im happy, just a wee bit fluffy
Dawny,
I’m so happy that you shared about not being in the diet mentality…as I was reading your post…I had a lightbulb moment…a vision of myself at a family party situation not thinking about diet only about what I needed to eat so that I would have energy! That is huge for me
I have been meaning to post here for quite some time! I stumbled upon Laurie’s podcast this summer after listening to Allen Standish.
About the same time that Laurie started this podcast, I entered an IOP (Intensive Outpatient) treatment program for an eating disorder I’ve had for 30 years (I am 46)! My eating disorder has taken different forms over the year…I’ve been on every popular diet imaginable and I’m certain that I am in the Weight Watchers Hall of Fame for the Most Times Joined. I’ve restricted, binged, purged, and over-exercised. At one point, I lost 85 lbs on Weight Watchers—but I got there through a variety of disordered behaviors and gained it all back and much more over the last 7 years. I injured myself through over-exercise and suffered through side-effects of bulimia. More than anything, I’ve wrecked my metabolism.
I am still recovering. I have to constantly remind myself that it is a process; bumps in the road are the norm. I am no longer purging but continue to restrict, binge, and obsess about weight. I hide from the world because I am ashamed of myself and my weight gain.
As I listen to Laurie’s podcasts and hear/read comments, I’m realizing that I’m not alone! This is comforting to me, and I believe that it is going to help me immensely in my recovery. I hope that I can support others as well.
Welcome Kerry, it is SO exciting to see you sharing your story and your thoughts here with all of us BCs. Hooray! I celebrate with you for having the courage to say out loud in writing for all to see what you’ve been through. I sigh and relate about the weight regains and feeling ashamed. But I am also here to support you with absolute confidence that it is possible to work through this. From your story I believe that you are so on the right path. I know I am not an expert, just a companion, and I’m so glad you got professional help and support too. The disordered eating and thinking can so take hold of us that it steals our lives. Besides the actual physical danger EDs can present, at the very least, they suck our minutes dry that we could be using in building relationships, working on our dreams, being of service in a way that is meaningful to us vs. people pleasing and on and on. You never have to hide from us and your physical size is just one part of you. I’m also learning that it is one of the least important to me. People from all over the world write me, and they are every size. Some are as big as me or bigger, some are perfect sized, some feel too skinny, yet they all have similar themes of not feeling good enough, of wishing for love and acceptance. If emotional eating is in our lives one way or another, we are longing for something more. Safety, freedom, autonomy, love, expression. We may present our mask in different ways, but we are companions under them. Welcome again, Kerry, and I am SO happy and excited to see where your journey takes you, bumps and all, because every step is a victory and all of it is a lesson if we let it be. xoxoxoxoxoxox
You are so encouraging! I want so desperately to be on the right path. The professionals warned me that recovery can be a long process and to expect bumps in the road. After all, I’m trying to undo years of disordered thinking and eating. Oh, you hit the nail on the head: this ED has definitely interfered with my relationships and dreams. At my core, there is self-doubt and self-loathing, so I turn to food, which makes me feel worse about myself…it also prevents me from stepping outside for a walk or a hike—something I was once passionate about (LOVE the outdoors!) Plus, it affects my family—my poor kids rarely go to the beach (I’m in So Cal) because of my own insecurities. How selfish of me! Baby steps—I am hopeful that your podcast, the BCs, recovery literature, and will help me begin to live my life. It’s just so frightening.
Oh Kerry, I so understand those fears and that inner sense of loathing. For me, just getting out there, bit by bit, is what has helped. Today, it is POURING on the coast (Mark and I are back up in Ventura for another of our several mini-breaks for the rest of the year), so I brought my hiking boots and umbrella just so I can have fun stomping puddles. So maybe, you can find a small step. Take your kids for a walk? Rent beach cruisers or peddle buggies along the shore – that’s really fun for everyone.I guess what I’m trying to say, is that I think about what is fun for me now. It sounds like you’d like to have fun and have fun with your kids. Each small moment of bravery adds up and helps gain you some of that self-respect that we all can use. Wishing you some fun today, and thanks so much for taking the time to share with us. Hugs Hugs Hugs, xoxoxox
Hi BC’s – My name is Carol and I’ve been meaning to post for a while. I’m usually listening to Laurie on the go so I don’t always get to post online. But here’s my story…
I’m 35, and engaged to a very wonderful, loving, and supportive man. I live in the Metro Detroit area and I work in the corporate world. I work in finance and I’m a very analytical person so counting calories and looking at data is right up my alley.
Like many, I’ve struggled with weight most of my life. There was a period of about 10 years where I lost & maintained an 85lb weight loss while on Weight Watchers. I think I could have lived and maintained that weight and lifestyle forever but oh boy… life had a game-changer in store for me!
When I was at one of my thinnest weights I discovered I had an overactive thyroid condition. And a long story short, I had a treatment that zapped my thyroid and killed my metabolism all in one swoop. Not only did that happen… I got another bite of the crap sandwich and went through a separation and then divorce, short sale of my home, and all that junk that comes along for the ride. Oh and I gained all of my weight back and then some in that same window.
Now, I’ve “recovered” a bit, and I’m starting to really discover myself and what I’m really made of. I feel like I’m finally getting to the bottom of my own issues and recently started seeing a therapist. My main complaint was my weight. She diagnosed me with Compulsive Overeating & Bing Eating disorder and I felt relieved because now I can quantify and understand it.
That’s why I’m so thankful that I found Laurie’s show. It was the best thing that happened. It started me down the path of recovery and discovery. I can’t say this enough, I was SO relieved! And then to find this podcast and to KNOW other people deal with the same struggles – WOW. This goes way beyond just counting points or calories and I’m very grateful for this show and all the wonderful BC’s out there.
I use Fitbit, myfitnesspal and I’m on FB so please contact me at cchadwell@gmail.com – I love to buddy up. Also, my MFP name is cchadwell05 and I need more friends on there to keep an eye on me.
Thanks again Laurie and all your Brave Companions, maybe I’ll even start a personal journal or blog like Cheryl. You are very inspirational Laurie and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. Thank you for providing this community!!
~ Feeling Brave ~
Hooray Carol! Welcome to the Honor Roll of Brave Companions who were brave enough to post their stories. Brava! I too worked in the financial industry, so I can relate to the comfort of numbers. Wow, what a ton of pressures you went through AND they killed your thyroid! How discouraging that would be on top of the emotional and physical topsy turvy that your life became. How brave you are to go into therapy and to seek out help. I’m so glad you found us and became a brave companion too. I hope you DO start a blog as you defiantly have a way with words and expressing yourself will help others AND yourself. You might even find it’s something you love to do, as I grew to love the show. I look forward to hearing more about your adventures. Well done, BC! You are on the bravery report for sure. xoxoxoxoxoxxo
Nice to meet you Carol. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Well done for being brave enough to see a therapist. I hope the combination of doing that and participating in this group will help you discover yourself and provide strategies that are right for you and enable you to move forward with confidence.
Thanks ladies! I appreciate it.
And Laurie, you hit the nail right on the head – how DISCOURAGING!! When they nuked my thyroid I gained about 50 lbs of it within just 6 months. My TSH went from .0017 which was over active to 60 when is extremely under active. A normal range is like, 1 – 5 and mine got up to 60 so yeah, it SUCKED!
Thankfully though, the universe had a message for me, I received it and I’m putting all that together now. 🙂 Looking forward to the next podcast. 🙂 I appreciate the warm welcome.
hiya carol.. SOOOO Glad you’ve happened by.. we love new friends.. and you rank high on the bravery level.. whoot whoot.. I look forward to sharing this journe with you.. daily life is a journey for sure
I am Dave I live just south of Seattle WA. I have been overweight (385+lbs) due to overeating, I love the outdoors but it hurts my legs to spend time there. I do garden and bowl but hurt for days afterwards. I recently hit what I feel like is the “bottom”. I went on a binge so huge and so salty that I almost went to the hospital.
My weight and CO have cause me to have some very dark thoughts.
I decided to see a therapist, because I know that my CO is just a symptom of of my deeper issues, I am also an alcoholic, which I replaced with overeating, 21 years ago.
I am on a journey to regain my mental health, my emotional health and my physical health. I look forward to helping all of you as you help me.
I love my wife and she is also on this journey for herself, we have been married 19 years (20 in Sept)
I am NOT my struggles. I am a great husband, a great Brother, great Uncle, a good son. I am a Child of God, I am lovable and worthy of love, I hold the Priesthood of God, I love to garden, I love to cook and am too good at it, I am creative, I love to serve others, I enjoy fishing and really really love the beach. we love movies and reading fiction. Someday I will love me!!!
Hooray Dave! You are on the bravery report all over the place lately. I’m so glad you posted your story here so everyone can have the chance to get to know you. I love your last paragraph and respect that you can see you are SO MUCH MORE than your issues. Wonderful! A hearty BC welcome to you. xoxoxoxoxox
Way late to the party, but I would like to declare myself on the Bravery Companion list! I am constantly thinking of food, planning food, trying to avoid eating a lot of food (seven Magnum ices in a day – type craziness or half a tub of Almond butter or a full bar of dark chocolate or the tub of ice cream that might as well be finished as you have already eaten half)
I am working through Brain over Binge (which my hands kept typing Binge over Brain …. says a lot), and whilst I am slender I am fast approaching my late forties when I know it will become harder to maintain and avoid weight gain through these binge incidents. I am trying to intermittent fast restricting my eating window to 8 hours as that at least might limit the amount of food I eat!
I too am in search of validation from others, working very hard to be self-validating, it is a tough struggle with a mother who has never felt good enough herself and projected onto me most of my life.
I love walking and walk miles a day listening to your podcast, and I am so happy to still have so many to work through … almost never want to catch up else I will have to wait for the next episode.
Thank you for being there – struggling as you were in the early days – a fellow companion on her own journey
I care x
Oh yeah Bedfordshire in the UK 🙂 I know you like to know where we are coming from
Thanks for letting me know which part of the UK you are from! I had fun looking up Bedfordshire online to learn a little more about it. I’ve never had the pleasure of traveling in England, though I did teach technology in Wales for several days many, many years ago. I loved that experience so much, I came home and tried to get my then, new hubby, to pack up and move there with me! But being a native Californian, he preferred the constant sunshine we enjoy here. And I must say, I do love our home. Though from time to time, I ponder, “What if…..?”
Weclome to the List of Brave Companions Jo! I’ve heard of some success with Brain over Binge, so I will be interested to hear about your experience. Ahh that darn validation bug! It is difficult to stay focused sometimes on our worth to ourselves. And it does feel good to get positive feedback from others. You make an interesting point about how hard it is to be the mirror to another (parent, partner, friend) and learn to see ourselves as ourselves. This is one of the issues I most work on. It took me a very long time to even put a name to my own feelings when I look back on it, because I was constantly on high alert to either please or rebel against my mirrors. Over pleasing and rebelling seem to be different sides of the same coin, just as dieting and bingeing are for me. I think we all have our own journeys of discovery and not every path resonates with every person. But every one of us who is willing to consider whether or not a particular path is resonating toward our heartfelt goals is brave. I find it much easier to be distracted and/or go for the familiar, so all true attempts outside of my comfort zone is bravery report material to me. I care too xoxoxoxox
PS, don’t worry about catching up. Since I am human, my life (and my show) never wrapped up neatly LOL!
I am really enjoying catching up and am looking forward to having lots of yours voice when I travel to Vegas in a couple of weeks – yes I am dreading Vegas effect on me – but having listened to your plan and success I am feeling more confident than before!
May well be popping up on previous days and commenting as I travel on through your past life 🙂
Wales is stunning and have the delight of travelling to Cardiff in a few weeks time to visit my school friend
xx
Oooo, have so much fun in Cardiff! I will be thinking of you and sending your good vibes for your travels to focus on your experience and to have a wonderful time. xoxoxox
Woohoo so close to catching up 🙂 Excited to be participating in the real time 🙂
Greetings, Brave Companions!
I know I am years late to this party….my name is Stephani and I am I single mom living in New England and i just turned 40. I have been battling with my weight since I was a child. I don’t remember feeling overweight as a child, well, not until I started getting picked on at school. By the time I was in 7th grade I had an eating disorder, but I was thin! That seemed to be enough to make me “pretty” and popular. It definitely felt like a reward. Thin=happiness. By the time I was 18 I had gained some weight and this began my yo-yoing that i still face today. I think for most of my life I wanted to ignore where my food issues started and now that I’m facing them it makes it even that much harder to not comfort myself with food. I am trying to eliminate restrictions, journal my feelings, and using outlets like this podcast to get to the other side of this lifelong issue. I want freedom from the fear that my overweight size means bad, lonely, or depressed. Thank you, Laurie. Thank you for being there for me during this difficult time. Hope you and all the Bc’s are doing well! ♥️
Welcome here Stephani
BInge the podcast. Laurie’s adventures are super
Hi Stephani! You are for SURE entitled to be on the Bravery Report for sharing your story with us. It is true that it is almost 8 years now (WOW) since I started recording the show, and the last episode was last year! I might start up again as I too have had a few COVID pounds to let go of again, so I am having to really work through some feelings and say bye to the friendly Robot Aliens. Happy you are here, and like Dawny says, have fun listening through the episodes. There was loads to learn (even for me) as it is new to me when I listen again. Best wishes for a wonderful 2022. Take Care, cause I really, really, REALLY care. xoxo
Thank you, Laurie!! I’m on episode 78 and all I know is I hope it never ends. The posts are so relatable and honest. It brings me a level of comfort that I can’t even describe. I vote to bring back the show!!
Happy New Year! 🎊
Thanks so much Stephani! You are in the middle of the first year when I was full of energy and we had much participation. (I did 100 in the first year of the show). Over time, I got more tired I think and my focus moved off of body issues to pursuing voice acting. But I am truly considering a return as I am focusing much more on health after the COVID gain and mental health gotchas the last years have presented me. So stay tuned, might just be me and you if I do! LOL. But do appreciate your reaching out. I forget the positive impact the show had on so many of us. Nice to hear. Best, Laurie xoxoxox