Category Archives: Status

Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary

February 13, 2015

Status 2-13-15*

WONDERFUL WALK AND LUNCH yesterday at Descanso. I snapped a few photos for Instagram that I also sent to my personal FB account. I don’t hang on FB much anymore, and it’s working out for me. By focusing on IG to send photos and here to write stuff, it is helping me to focus on the show and blog at certain times of day and going after more ‘real life’ goals the rest of the time. That sounds weird, doesn’t it? After all, YOU ARE part of my real life – but our interactions, for the most part happen in the virtual world. Part of my issue is learning how to interact better with folks in the 3D world, so I’m trying to structure more time and events there. So far, I think I’m successful. Yesterday’s therapy was useful – I can tell because I was pissed off about my therapist’s take. That usually means we are hitting pay dirt about one of my issues. On reflection, I think that was true yesterday. I’m resistant to changing an automatic response I have in a certain situation. I wanted validation – and I got, ‘maybe you should understand that you are assuming here, and you need to let it go’. CRAP! I HATE it when *I* am indeed the asshole in the equation and need to rethink. BUT it does pay dividends when I allow the possibility. Sigh.

Anyway, loved my grain salad lunch at Descanso paired with a fresh strawberry and peach puree fizzy water drink. No puffing there. So these greens, almonds, quinoa and peach and strawberries are not my dietary culprits. Dinner was, don’t laugh, potato chips! Took me a while to find a brand that was simply potatoes, olive oil and salt. I was hungry for them. (Anger? Maybe) But they tasted good, two servings sufficed, and no puffing up from the potatoes.

I also walked down the charming small main street of Montrose yesterday on my way to Trader Joe’s. And as it was blazing hot, I had a handmade vanilla ice-cream cone. (That ice-cream store in Montrose makes the BEST ice-cream, and when I am hungry for dairy based, I go there). No puffing, so not lactose.

The rest of the day I took it easy as I’ve been feeling the need for physical rest. I may be overtraining, hard as THAT seems to believe. But my body has that feeling, and I can tell from the rest days, I am feeling better. If I was just allowing my inner laziness to surface, then rest days would make me feel more sluggish.

Today

PROPOSAL AND VOICE. I’ve been putting off submitting a conference proposal, and today I need to do my thing or get off the pot. So this AM, I’m going to craft one and see if it makes me happy or stressed. My procrastination can be either fear of rejection, or a signal, I don’t really WANT to do this conference. If I get more excited as I craft the proposal, it’s the former. If I start to feel like it’s a chore, it’s the latter and I will know to pull the plug on this idea.

Then I’ll begin my run through of the 26 pages of dialog Marc Cashman sent for our possible casting tomorrow during our last class of this series. Yikes! I also need to do my singing lesson practice, as I have been neglecting my scales and my voice shows it – both in singing AND in speaking.

xoxoxoxoxo

How about you?

Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.

*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.

PS If you wish to sign up for email notification of blog postings and shows going live (not these status reports) enter your email where it says: “SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL”. This blog subscription widget is located to the right on computers and on some tablets, and below the posts on smart phones and on other types of tablets.

PSS, some BCs have asked me the difference between blog postings and status pages. Blog postings are where I develop a complete topic triggered by my status thoughts. Status thoughts are how my day went, what’s on my agenda, and how my body feels today – and not much editing or thought goes into them. That’s why I don’t clog up your email with them. 🙂

Body Balance


BB (Body Balance) number 8 Sleep: 7 hours divided (good first 4, ok last 3.5) Tummy/Gut: Gut slightly more full. Not bad. Hungry after 1.5 hours of waking. Egg and half of whole wheat lavash satisfied, no puffing yet, so wheat not the culprit. Energy: High Moderate. Mood: Contemplative

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary

February 12, 2015

Hey, there are gremlins in the show notes notification system. So I’m sending this one via email to see if it works for the statuses. So if you didn’t know, Day 101 is live and you can click here to go to it.

Status 2-12-15*

GREAT BEACH AND POOL MORNING yesterday. I took a quick ride early AM and recorded a bonus episode for day 101. THEN came the whoppin’ big HEAD WINDS. My goodness, got a great workout in that two miles back to the hotel. It was like having a giant hand holding me in place while I peddled against it like mad. Kiss hubby awake, made for the pool. Some leaves in it from aforementioned wind, but still felt awesome to float and splash around in there. Was on track to get home and head for writing group. At home, had lunch, something DID NOT agree with me, and I puffed up like a blowfish. Felt misery in my body and laid around drinking H2o to see if it would help. Finally told Mark, no go for me to writing, but BRAVERY REPORT FOR MARK! He went on his own and wrote an awesome story. He read it to me on his return. BTW, I edited and published day 101 while Mark was gone, and THEN got the tech gremlins. Sigh on that one.

Today

GARDEN WALK and TALK – Off to my weekly Descanso stroll before therapy. Then I’ll play it by ear. AND It’s hard to type with TIGER crawling and snuggling on my lap like glue. BUT in all the world, these are the moments I would wish back, so snuggling is priority 1 – (even when my first response is irritation).

xoxoxoxoxo

How about you?

Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.

*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.

PS If you wish to sign up for email notification of blog postings and shows going live (not these status reports) enter your email where it says: “SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL”. This blog subscription widget is located to the right on computers and on some tablets, and below the posts on smart phones and on other types of tablets.

PSS, some BCs have asked me the difference between blog postings and status pages. Blog postings are where I develop a complete topic triggered by my status thoughts. Status thoughts are how my day went, what’s on my agenda, and how my body feels today – and not much editing or thought goes into them. That’s why I don’t clog up your email with them. 🙂

Body Balance


BB (Body Balance) number 7 Sleep: 6 hours divided (good first 4, ok last 2) Tummy/Gut: Gut still full from yesterday lunch. Not Hungry after 3 hours of waking. Will wait until last minute to eat this time to let my gut reduce if possible. Still drinking water. Energy: Moderate. Mood: Annoyed with technology

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary

February 11, 2015

Status 2-11-15*

TOTALLY FUN BEACH RIDE! We had a great day riding new bike trails (for us) finding a cool hide-a-way by the sea to enjoy lunch, great Mai Tais, gorgeous sunsets glowing into the wild and frothy waves. It’s was a day for the memory books. So I’ll write a blog post in a day or two to tell about it and show the photos and links to videos on IG.

PS, Despite my social rage at not fitting into seats, Mark and I decided to re-up for the next season at the Pantages, and are crossing fingers that we can buy the third seat in April. If not, well, it is what it is. Thanks for the support! xoxoxox

Today

I may go for a short ride this AM and record a bonus episode. If not, it will have to wait a few days. Show 100 took a lot out me, and I think I have been resting. Mark seems to want to go back to writing group tonight, so I’m hoping we make that happen.

xoxoxoxoxo

How about you?

Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.

*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.

PS If you wish to sign up for email notification of blog postings and shows going live (not these status reports) enter your email where it says: “SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL”. This blog subscription widget is located to the right on computers and on some tablets, and below the posts on smart phones and on other types of tablets.

PSS, some BCs have asked me the difference between blog postings and status pages. Blog postings are where I develop a complete topic triggered by my status thoughts. Status thoughts are how my day went, what’s on my agenda, and how my body feels today – and not much editing or thought goes into them. That’s why I don’t clog up your email with them. 🙂

Body Balance


BB (Body Balance) number 9 Sleep: 8 hours divided (good first 4, good last 4) Tummy/Gut: balanced. Hungry after 1 hour of waking. Very small breakfast was fine. Energy: High Moderate. Mood: Zen

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

Fitting In – Hating the Simpsons and Loving the Kindness of Strangers

Laurie in bike gear looks out to sea with rolling waves on a sunny day.
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I take a moment to reflect on the beauty of the day and how lucky I feel to be on this ride. I don’t take my mobility or the weather for granted.

Holy F Even Cartoons Are Creating Body Shame These Days!

Just before Mark and I left to drive up to Ventura for another few days of R and R riding the beach, I killed time by watching the Simpsons, a long running cartoon that skewers American culture, family stereotypes , fads and every other thing you can think of. It centers around Homer, a beer-guzzling, donut bingeing, somewhat good-hearted, somewhat clueless idiot, his long-suffering blue-haired wife Marge, and his three kids. I usually enjoy the Simpsons, and since I’ve been studying voice acting, I watch as many cartoons as possible to mimic the voices and study the line delivery.

But imagine my chagrin, when this episode centered around Homer’s fat ass being stuck in an auditorium chair and his ripping the entire row up as he tried to rise for a standing ovation for a performance of his kids. He then went on to exclaim about “Don’t fear me”, inferring he, and his fat-assedness were indeed monstrous. Homer then was persuaded by Marge to go to Fattie’s Anonymous to get help losing weight, and instead, comically landed in a support group for being proud of your size. This group glorified gaining weight as wonderful, were shown as blubberous idiots in denial of their health, and even as Homer has the wondrous realization that for once he could be PROUD of who he actually was, the group is arrested for protesting, can’t fit in the cell, the leader dies at 23 from heart failure as he attempts to rise from his scooter chair, and the funeral gag showed about 25 urns of ashes being needed for this big fatties’ cremation. The end result? Homer says to Marge, “I’m sorry Marge, I’ll never try to be proud of myself again. I’ll yoyo diet until I get it right”. Then we see the years flash by as Homer balloons and shrinks, becomes buff and big and small and flabby, until finally he is buff and his now adult kids are proud of him when Homer is about 65 years old. Yes, I admit the Simpsons had good jokes in this episode, and this show skewers every group eventually. But I couldn’t believe how depressed I was by it. For the underlying societal expectations could not be more clear.

  1. You are a sloppy monster (not one of us) if you can’t fit in a seat
  2. You should be ashamed of yourself if you are not trying all you can to get thin
  3. Large size equals ill health and death

Sigh.

This really bugged the hell out of me and I am struggling to let it go. Now, it is NO surprise to me that in my culture, body fat is considered bad in every way. It is no surprise that fat people are considered “less than” and somewhat stupid – after all, ONLY an idiot would not address this BURNING HEALTH ISSUE. So what if there are eating disorders blooming all across the nation based on these ideas? After all, isn’t it BETTER to be THIN at ANY COST? I say no, but then again, I am not thin.

I am putting my energy into living my life outside of the focus and compulsion of trying to change my body. Unlike Homer, for the the last year, I have not yo-yoed “Trying to get it right”. I have instead accepted my body, even while I WISH I could fit in seats better.

The only positive I can see from this cartoon episode is that I identify anger at these ideas and portrayals vs. at myself for being one of the skewered group. This is huge. I don’t feel compelled to change so as not to be laughed at by a cartoon stereotype. I don’t accept the stereotype. I don’t dispute some of what the stereotype is based upon. I can also take a joke. But what this episode represents makes me very sad. Not for me, but that I live in a society that cannot accept size as an actual usual difference among humans.

Love you K from the Pantages

This damned Simpsons episode could not have come at a worse time. As I have ranted during my show, my pair-shaped butt and large thighs do NOT fit into coach seats on airplanes OR in the small, historical seats of the Pantages Theater in Hollywood where Mark and I have season tickets. Note that Mark weighs much more than I do, AND he’s about 7 inches taller. And HE can fit because his weight is in his tummy, not his ass. I really DO feel like a monster when I try to shoehorn myself into these seats and it’s even worse when I have a left-hand neighbor giving me the “Oh my god you are fat” glare. To be fair, this has only happened once – but that was enough.

Now It’s time to consider re-upping for next season or not. Not thinking that anything could be done (outside of me losing about 40+ pounds), I called the theater to explore possibilities. I was lucky enough to speak with a friendly, compassionate, and cool dude who I’ll call K. According to K there is a small chance that I can at least purchase the seat to my immediate left as well, later on when the season tickets are all re-purchased or not. There are some seats in the theater that have armrests that come up (but these would not work with Mark’s need to be on an aisle). So bottom line, I need to decide if the thrill of seeing the shows are worth the physical and emotional discomfort of the theater’s seats.

I loved speaking with K as he was so funny and compassionate. I told him, “I just don’t have an historic Hollywood body. I’m much more a midwest kind of lady”. We also talked about Kinky Boots and diversity and other topics. K never made me feel badly and followed up with compassion. In his email outlining my options, he added a PS,

“Remember, you are PERFECT as you are.”

Off to Ventura


Let’s leave rant-ville and focus on the fun possibilities in life. Fat ass or not, my strong legs can peddle me all over the place! I love to see the coast line, and given the weather many are suffering with Winter Storm Marcus, I am glad to be riding with MY Mark instead.

Laurie and Mark in bike gear on a sunny day on the bike trail near the coast.

Some of the times we feel closest as a couple is bike riding at the beach.

Sunny day, train tracks in foreground coastal waves beyond

You can see the waves break along the shore in Ventura. The tracks the Coast Starlight follows are seen here.

Sunset into the sea

Another melting sunset as we finish our bike ride.

Body Balance


Since I’m blogging, I’m combining my status here:

BB (Body Balance) number 9 Sleep: 9 hours divided (good first 4, good next 4, good last 1) Tummy/Gut: balanced. Hungry after 1 hour of waking. Small breakfast satisfied. Will eat again before our ride. Energy: High. Mood: Happy and grateful (except for the seat fitting rage)

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

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Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary

February 9, 2015

Status 2-09-15*

TOTAL Junk TV and rest day. All day in jammies just about.

Today

BACK TO THE BEACH – we just got back from our sunset ride. More tomorrow.

xoxoxoxoxo

How about you?

Please feel free to comment on MY statuses or add YOUR OWN thoughts, feelings, challenges, rants and raves on these pages too. That was one of the original purposes of why I posted on FB. I thought BCs might like to share about THEIR days. So if you have thoughts and feelings you’d like to share with the group, go ahead and put them here with your comments.

*Daily statuses are not part of the blog’s email notification. When you enter your email under where it says SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL, you will be notified of regular blog posts and when podcast episodes are released. I didn’t want to clog your inbox with my daily statuses. However, the automatic publicize feature will inform you on my show FB page, my AdventureLaurie twitter account, google+ on its show page, and Tumblr.

PS If you wish to sign up for email notification of blog postings and shows going live (not these status reports) enter your email where it says: “SUBSCRIBE TO POSTS VIA EMAIL”. This blog subscription widget is located to the right on computers and on some tablets, and below the posts on smart phones and on other types of tablets.

PSS, some BCs have asked me the difference between blog postings and status pages. Blog postings are where I develop a complete topic triggered by my status thoughts. Status thoughts are how my day went, what’s on my agenda, and how my body feels today – and not much editing or thought goes into them. That’s why I don’t clog up your email with them. 🙂

Body Balance


BB (Body Balance) number 6.5 Sleep: 4 hours straight (good first 4, but not enough) Tummy/Gut: balanced. Hungry after 1 hour of waking. Regular breakfast was fine at the time. Noticed hungry within 2 hours of that. Energy: Low Moderate. Mood: Restful.

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter