1. Dawny November 1, 2017 at 5:50 am

   Such an awesome (as usual) episode Laurie.
   I too like you am thinking I may not want to partake in kool-aid consumption. But yay for clean toilets.
   I sometimes think about my new small home, and wonder if it’s too small and I should have shopped around or looked for bigger. But then when I have cleaning day I realize quickly how lovely my small house really is lol. Then when it comes to paying the mortgage I too validate that the choice was good. As a larger home would mean larger cost.

   Today I celebrate 23 years of marriage. Such a long time. So many memories and feelings.

   My crazy undiagnosed symptoms of dizzy racing heart continue. But as well my plight to try to find a reason does too. So many people suggest it can be underlying stress and/or anxiety. Tho I don’t know. I just keep searching for answers.

   Yahooooo soooo happy for our new BC friends. So glad you decided to keep the love of this podcast alive Laurie.
   You are real. And true. And that speaks a lot. You share it all. Not just what you ‘want’ people to see/hear. I love that about you.

   Work is normal. The house stuff is done. We are settled. Things almost seem boring lol. I like the calm.

   I picked up a side job doing childcare on Sunday mornings. I love babies. It’s very enriching and fulfilling plus I get paid. Awesome for sure.

   My first Halloween in my new home brought around 20 trick or treaters. Yay. My last home wasn’t welcoming and we didn’t get any.

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   1. Jo November 6, 2017 at 9:56 pm

      Dawny so pleased to hear you are settling in and had a fair few trick or treaters. So lovely you have a new perspective on your house, your life. Congratulations on 23 years wed!
      Racing heart may be down to a deficiency as well as down to anxiety so may be worthwhile having bloods done. Wishing you well xx

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      1. Dawny November 7, 2017 at 6:43 am

         THank you. They tested all my blood. They say everything looks good. Sadly. It’s almost time to do it again we shal see.

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   2. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorNovember 8, 2017 at 10:36 am

      Hey Gal Pal, I would LOVE to downsize to a smaller set of digs – even though I love our home, it is Soooo friggin’ big, that cleaning wears us out. We are considering hiring some help, but that is a big expense on a fixed budget. Though might be worth it in enhancing our quality of life. Glad you got some trick or treaters – our road has grown up, so we had barely a trickle this year. Luckily Mark buys candy I don’t like. I don’t mind calories if I at least enjoy it – but these days, most commercial candy isn’t my thing – unless I’m in a mood, (which can happen quite a bit). Gosh, I am sorry that you still don’t know what’s going on with you. That is so frustrating. Sending good vibes and hugs and love your way. xoxoxox

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2. Dave November 1, 2017 at 9:30 am

   To new BC’s Maria S, Sunny and Kathy C, thank you for joining us and thank you for your bravery, even after all these years it helps to be reminded we are not alone in this journey.

   Letting go of some of my Ghosts.

   Hurt people, hurt people, most of my life, I have dealt with the shame of being overweight and being molested, before I received help (therapy), by being a bully, trying subconsciously to relieve my pain by forcing it on others. Many of the ghosts that haunt me now are the memories/shame and guilt of the pain I inflicted on others. I will be going along living life and something will trigger the memories (a song, a news story a mindless train of thought). I have confessed of my bullying to my wife, my therapist and spiritual leaders and repented and sought forgiveness from above. I have also attended 12 step programs which also allowed me to confess, to my actions. One of the 12 steps is making amends, I have reached out to some of those I have hurt and acknowledged the pain I caused them and apologized (most of them have forgiven me) there are others out there and I have no idea where they are in life, some won’t discuss the subject.
   I know I can never undo the damage I have caused, and I work every day to lift people up and serve others, I also acknowledge that I deserve the negative consequences of my bad behavior.

   Three tools I have been given to deal with the emotions when I’m triggered are:
   1) Prayer, I ask my Heavenly Father to help me forgive myself, because I know he has already forgiven me.

   2) Stop the train of thought. I do this one of two ways:
   a) Tell myself out loud “Stop it David”. This often startles my wife, but she is getting used to it now. I do it under my breath when I’m at work or other public place. This derails the train and I focus on positive and uplifting thoughts instead.
   b) The other thing I do is sing out loud, I find that if I try singing in my head it does not stop the train, however when I sing out loud it truly redirects my thoughts.

   3) I acknowledge the thought, I acknowledge the pain I caused, and I visualize the thought as if it is a leaf floating down a stream, caught in an eddy with the leaf (thought) going in circles (the train of thought), however once I acknowledge the thought it escapes the eddy and floats away (releasing the shame and guilt). This also works with negative self-talk.

   Kool-aid in the toilet….better than drinking it in my book. Thanks for the tip Mark.

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   1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorNovember 8, 2017 at 10:51 am

      Goodness my friend, I wish I had a platinum star-studded version of the bravery report for you. What a freeing leap into being real to admit both sides of your bullying experiences. My first thought was compassion. It is hard to exist in our world and bullying or picking on the weak is a form of self-protection. Some of my own most vivid regrets in life are all of the times I stood silent allowing someone else to be picked on – through my own sheer relief that it wasn’t me that time. I felt safer standing back, and that is just as contributory to a bullying culture as to actively bully. Coming clean, making amends all of your wonderful tips and heartfelt support of others just show your bravery and your wonderful, love filled heart. I am honored that we are friends and filled with gratitude for the positive contribution you make to this world. xoxoxoxo

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3. Jo November 6, 2017 at 9:59 pm

   Laurie, always a delight to hear your voice in my ears!!

   Ghosts of the past, yeah plenty of those in my life have been banished into the night. It is so difficult to forget something that had such a major impact on your behaviours so BRAVO and HURRAH to you
   Big smoochies
   Xx

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   1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorNovember 8, 2017 at 10:53 am

      Thanks Jo and great big smoochies right back attcha!

      Reply ↓

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