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Trail marker at the beginning of the day. The sunrise marks the beginning too of my hopeful journey to record from the mountain.
The trail upward. Each step of the way I asked my body if I could continue. Really unique and good practice to get back in touch with the part of me I have hated, ignored and mistreated. Body, thank you for sticking with me. I love you!
Here are my 50th episode prayer rocks. For me, it’s a memory, a wish and a released thought into the universe. I place them then think on them. Today I was struck by the many shapes and directions, representing the various brave companions and their individuality – even as we are unified, as the rocks are.
I’m thrilled to be eating my traditional pre-recording Granny Smith apple at my next to top Zen place. After my recent back trouble, I doubted I would be able to do my 50th episode from my beloved mountain.
Take a Closer Look
The full resolution versions of today’s photos on Facebook
Mentioned
Crystals’s great advice for my birthday on episode 14
Revisit weird day 48 and hear Brandi’s bravery hotline call
Michelle’s great comment about being assertive on Day 46
Stéfanie’s reaction to Weird Day 48 and her wonderful link to her Zen Song
Cheryl’s reaction to Stéfanie’s wonderful Zen Song
Catch up with Laurie
My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.
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Bravery Hotline
Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.
Credits
Host: Laurie Weaver
Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1
Resource of the day
50 Good Things About Life from the blog, Just a Lemon. It is fun to read this person’s positive list of 50 good things in life. Some you may agree with, some not, but it is a very cool idea. I’m inspired to try it myself and create a 50 good things list! How about you?
Episode 50! WOW! Congrats to you dear Laurie! I am happy and honored to share this milestone with you and your healing body!
About this 4 month journey. I admire that shift you made in your goal going from loosing weight to feeling good in your body and mind. I think that this is the next step I need to take but I am not feeling quite ready for that. I’m in a contemplative mode: I know this obsession with weight and food is part of the problem, but I am a scared to let go. I try to go with the flow and be self-accepting about the fact that I’m not ready yet. This state of mind of mine is probably me slowly getting me prepared for D-day 🙂
Thanks Cheryl and Laurie! Cheryl I loved your cheerful voice! Thanks for encouraging me to speak proudly with my accent!
Welcome Maria! I’m looking forward to hear more from you!
Merci Stéfanie for your kind words and congratulations. I am really proud to have achieved this milestone. I too loved hearing Cheryl’s voice on the podcast as she has been a voice “behind” the podcast for a long time.
As to your letting go of the diet/weight/food obsession, that is all a process. I still wake up tempted to diet when the lying scale is not my friend. It is up a pound today again – but I know it is just muscles retaining water from my hike yesterday. STILL I would love to have been under 200 pounds by now. However, I mean to stick to my method even if I remain 207-208 forever. Without my obsessive mind locked continually onto dieting and bingeing, the mental and emotional energy that I have now to devote to my family, my friends, my brave companions is astounding. I’m still in the baby steps of this process, and it isn’t a quick solution to weight loss. It is very hard to think I may not lose much, or anymore weight. That is what the robot aliens whisper in my ear. Quick, go back to dieting. They know if I do, I will soon invite them in and they miss me. 🙂
Laurie and Stefanie, both your comments sort of brought my own efforts into focus for me this morning. I realized, Laurie, that you’re right. I don’t feel that pressure either since I’m not focusing on dieting. And while I’m good with that, I’m not getting anywhere. Just sort of going in circles. I think I must be in the same place Stefanie is. Your comments have made me realize that it’s time I sorted my head out and decided where this path is going I’m headed down. If it’s the wrong one for me, I better do something about it.
The podcast was great. I must admit I was surprised when I heard you speak, Laurie, about how long it would go on. I’m wondering what happens if your focus changes now from the podcast being a vehicle for you to get to know yourself better to being one of service to other people? Is that going to make a difference in the way you handle the eating in your life?
Hey there my friend,
I see no difference at all. I am learning that all of these artificial boundaries I’ve wrapped myself in as protection are false. on a diet, off a diet. Focusing on eating better, focusing on living better. It’s all the same life, same person, same soul. At work, retired, speaking, mute, listening, hearing. All are part of me. Goodness, I’m metaphysical today, no? But that’s what I’m learning.
My diary will always be my diary. There is no end of learning about myself and what I am thinking. As long as I am helped by it, I will do it. It is a HUGE bonus that others are also helped. Since I am not an expert and not qualified to give advice, only to provide my own experience and to tell my story and those stories that are gifted me by the brave companions, I feel no break in continuity or purpose, if that makes sense.
My compulsion could have been for alcohol, shopping, sex, gambling etc. But food turned out to be my main coping thing. I’m finding that coping with food is the same for me as coping with life. As long as I live, I will need to cope, so I should not run out of stories to tell myself.
If the time comes where I’m not enjoying this ride, or it doesn’t do me good, or I feel it is actually harming the brave companions vs. helping, then I will revisit my decision to continue. I still felt Cheryl, yesterday on the mountain, the voice inside telling me this is what I am to do.
So, do it I will 🙂
I also have the feeling I will have my heart’s desire and develop a life free of the fear of food and where human connection comes easier. I think I may go back to speaking too. I may write, I’m not quite sure what is happening. But I am very sure I am on the correct path for me.
I am sorry to say, in no way did my inner voice promise size 8 or a bikini-body 🙂
You may have a larger calling than you even imagined, my friend! That’s what happens when we just make ourselves available to the powers that be. I think you are really being used in some special ways…
Firstly, welcome Maria. I hope you find you can engage with this group of Brave Companions as much as you want to and give and receive encouragement on your journey.
Secondly, thanks for another great podcast. I’m thrilled to hear of you success Laurie and so blessed that your telling of your story is helping both you and many others. I loved the challenge from Stéfanie. I too find that passionate/obsessive behaviour is a part of my makeup. I am somewhat bemused that whatever I am obsessing about can change over time. It seems like many of us share similar traits in many areas and I hadn’t previously connected them.
I’ve had a few weeks away from calorie counting and weighing myself. This could be a good thing as I definitely find my day can be affected by the number on the scale. It is hard when out of normal routine. I don’t want to find that my enjoyment of meals out is spoiled by thinking more of the calorie count rather than the company or the taste of the food. I was able to walk 10/15 mins to the beautiful waterfall on holiday. I think my foot has benefited from the rest. I had been able to pot around the house or school and was only badly affected by prolonged walking or driving a manual car.
I’m not able to post much of anything coherent whilst timetabling as it sucks most of my mental energy. I will surface in a few weeks and rejoin the community properly.
Hugs everyone.
Sue, I’m so glad your foot is letting you be a bit more mobile. It is so discouraging to feel constrained by these physical hiccups. I’m also super glad you stopped by as it wouldn’t have felt quite right to celebrate the big 5-0 without you! It is very interesting that the more the brave companions talk about their experiences, the more threads we find that bind our thinking. It is rather like your timetabling problems, so I can see why your brain would need some time away from one or the other. 🙂 Congrats on the time away too from the calorie counting and scale. That always feels like a relief to me. My problem in the past is that it seemed I naturally wanted to eat more calories than I burn, so I didn’t trust myself without the calorie counting framework. This time either my body is trusting me more, or I’m better able to discern its signals. So far, I’m at worst holding steady and at best, losing slowly without dieting. I’m still pretty freaked out though, like I’m always waiting for the next shoe to drop – or the next robot alien to beam in. I think it will be quite awhile longer before I feel easy day-to-day without my compulsive roller-coaster.