1. Sue August 10, 2014 at 5:18 am

   I just wanted to give you a big hug when I heard this episode. What you are modelling to us is one way to discover a healthy relationship with food, altering your strategy as you learn more. You clearly have the energy to do what you want, except when injured. Your bloods are normal and you are tackling the underlying issues with true bravery. What’s unimpressive about that? You should be on the bravery report for that podcast.

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   1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorAugust 10, 2014 at 6:15 am

      Thanks Sue, I almost cried when I read your comment this morning. I think it is part of the embedded diet mentality that fat/big is bad that became apparent during the recording of this bonus session. I have some more to work through for sure on that arena. But, I’m hoping that whatever struggles I face, by telling them, it may help someone else and that puts meaning into them even beyond the benefit I get out of working through these unpleasant feelings. Even though, as you say, I have energy, feel well, SUPER enjoyed the freedom I had around food and dining out during my company’s visit, I still have underlying feelings of shame around my size. But I have to be nice to myself, because my size is just one attribute of all that I am, and not the best indicator of my worth. Thanks again SO much, I really needed this encouragement today.

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2. Amy from WI August 11, 2014 at 2:55 pm

   I really enjoy your bonus episodes. I am right there with you as far as feeling fat, not wanting to feel fat, and wanting to feel accepted. I was one of those people that listened to all the episodes to catch up, and I’m sure I wanted to hear you keep losing weight as you started out, but I find it much more real and helpful that you have shared your honest journey. I don’t see you as any sort of failure, and I sure don’t want you to feel that way, either. While I’m not on the same path as you right now (I’m still counting calories and weighing myself), I know that we both need to be patient and allow the journey to follow its course. Your body is adjusting to this new method of intuitive eating and it will take time for the adjustment to happen. Stay strong, my friend.

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   1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorAugust 11, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      Amy, thanks so very much. It means so much to me that you shared that you don’t view me as a failure for not losing more weight. It goes to show that we can be MUCH harder on ourselves and that we can also make painful assumptions about how others view us. It’s good to be reminded that many people view us kindly, and we can also view ourselves that way.
      Hugs,
      Laurie
      xoxoxoxoxoxox

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3. Diane August 13, 2014 at 10:02 am

   I loved this episode because you are so REAL! I don’t think that any new listener that starts at episode one will be disappointed at all! Sure, we all want to be successful at weight loss, but I think more importantly, we all want to have a better relationship with f ood. You are showing us that it is possible. You have worked do hard to get to the place where you are…..regardless of the number on the scale! You are so real and genuine and your honesty is what I love most!

   I used to have a blog and read a lot of blogs several years ago, before Facebook. I had a very difficult time in being 100 percent honest in what I posted. I would usually post the highlights and good stuff and if I ever posted anything that may have made me look foolish or even like a failure, I would still try to make it out to be “not so bad”….. but I LOVED my fellow bloggers that could open up and truly put themselves out there! Those were my favorite blogs to read!! I feel that way about your podcast!

   So here is a big, heartfelt THANK YOU LAURIE for creating THIS!

   XO♥♥

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4. Cheryl August 13, 2014 at 3:16 pm

   My gosh what an important, important topic! Guilt and shame. It’s so easy to forget the difference and mix them all up. Guilt is ultimately about our “behavior,” shame is about our “being.” We’re hard-wired to feel guilt. It’s what makes us able to function in society. As people we live in relationship with others, so if our behavior is improper we need that guilt to remind us that, at the very least, we’re probably violating the boundaries that are necessary for good relationships. You know the old saying: Good fences make good neighbors?

   But shame is NOT something we’re meant to experience. It’s a learned reflex and one that doesn’t serve to help our relationships or society at all. Years ago my husband and I hosted a study of a book by John Bradshaw called “Healing The Shame That Binds You.” We didn’t know what to expect, so imagine our surprise when 16 people showed up at our house with all these emotions spilling out because they all felt this insidious emotion. We can all identify with what you’re feeling.

   The sad truth is, I fear, that no matter how hard we work at sorting it all out, it’s a feeling most of us will continue to struggle with to some extent for the rest of our lives. But remembering that there’s a difference between behavior and being is a great first step.

   I can see exactly where you’re coming from, Laurie, with your fear of disappointing others. But you never PROMISED anyone you’d lose weight. You just invited them along on a journey of self-discovery. It’s important, I think, to remember that the journey isn’t about the destination, it’s about what happens as you’re making the trip and who you meet along the way. And that’s the place where we all join you. You made a wonderful point when you said you wanted your podcast to be a cure for isolation. I’m guessing for some of us that’s actually the primary point of healing. So maybe the whole weight issue is really just secondary to what your podcast can achieve. Or the group you’re trying to set up for that matter.

   We learn more from watching how we each handle our trials than we do from watching each others’ victories. Do we pick ourselves back up? Do we have a hissy fit? Throw in the towel? Or any of the tons of other coping behaviors we model for each other. The second deepest value of your podcast is teaching people who struggle how to ride out the storms of food life. There is so, so much value in what you do and who you ARE that you’re able to connect with others the way you do.

   So remember, it’s always the journey that matters.

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5. Carrie Anderson June 20, 2018 at 6:43 pm

   Hi Laurie,
   I know this episode was posted years ago, but I just listened to it shortly after writing to you on Day 162, and was horrified to hear that you were feeling bad when new listeners were asking you if you had ever made your weight goal, and that’s just what I have done! What was I thinking when I asked that? I’m so sorry if it made you feel bad at all. I have been binge listening (not eating!) to all of your older podcasts, and have been enjoying them immensely, and gaining so much insight and knowledge, and have nothing but the deepest respect and admiration for you and how you have been recovering from your eating disorder. The freedom you have achieved from your food addiction is much more important than the number on the scale, which of course you have already figured out, and anybody listening to your podcast is sure to come to understand also.
   Anyways…I just wanted to apologize, and thank you again for putting out these honest and insightful podcasts.
   Carrie

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   1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorJune 20, 2018 at 6:58 pm

      Hi Carrie, please no worries or apologies needed. I’m totally fine these days with my weight and even hop on the scale now and again. It’s a process for us all and as you mention, you are listening to my past. Feel free to ask away. Xo

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