1. Cheryl Carter February 22, 2014 at 11:46 am

   Morning, Laurie. I was struck this morning by two words you used in the podcast today: grief and regret. Before I listened I would probably have lumped them in the same batter. But I realized as I stood here in the kitchen getting ready to fix breakfast that there IS a chasm between between them, a period of time we have BEFORE regret becomes grief. And in a way, maybe that’s part of the message of your podcast. We have time to keep the regret for past failures from turning into grief. I thought that was an amazingly encouraging message. Good job!

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   1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorFebruary 22, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      I feel good that you got me gal! That was one of my points. Death always clarifies things, I think. When my uncle passed it really showed me that my life was up to me and if I don’t like how it is going, it’s up to me to change it. And that includes reaching out to others, like fantastic friends like you 🙂

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2. Suz August 16, 2014 at 12:10 pm

   Wow, I just lost everything I typed somehow by hitting a magic obliterating combination of keystrokes.
   Not sure I remember all I typed.
   Dang it.
   But, I said that I was so happy you had someone like your uncle in your life. I had always wished I had someone like that in the family. Someone I could count on and talk to, someone who I could confide in and who would tell me I was going to be okay, and that I was good and lovable just the way I was. Someone who would give me a hug and just accept me, as-is.
   That’s so important.
   Grief and regret are hard for me to cope with. They are hard to face, hard to resolve and live with. Grief and regret over people and relationships, and the life one has led or the life one wishes they would have or could have led.
   I still owe letters to people who have passed away.

   Here is an old-fashioned poem I have always liked. It’s relevant, if a bit dark; it’s still sweet. I think the author was J. A. Egerton.

   “Tell Him So”

   If you have a word of cheer
   That may light the pathway drear,
   Of a brother pilgrim here,
   Let him know.
   Show him you appreciate
   What he does, and do not wait
   Till the heavy hand of fate
   Lays him low.
   If your heart contains a thought
   That will brighter make his lot,
   Then, in mercy, hide it not;
   Tell him so.

   Bide not till the end of all
   Carries him beyond recall
   When beside his sable pall
   To avow
   Your affection and acclaim
   To do honor to his name
   And to place the wreath of fame
   On his brow.
   Rather speak to him to-day;
   For the things you have to say
   May assist him on his way :
   Tell him now.

   Life is hard enough at best:
   But the love that is expressed
   Makes it a pathway blest
   To our feet;
   And the troubles that we share
   Seem the easier to bear,
   Smile upon your neighbor’s care,
   As you greet.
   Rough and stony are our ways,
   Dark and dreary are our days;
   But another’s love and praise
   Make them sweet.

   Wait not till your friend is dead
   Ere your compliments be said;
   For the spirit that has fled,
   If it know,
   Does not need to speed it on
   Our poor praise; where it has gone
   Love’s eternal golden dawn
   Is aglow.
   But unto our brother here
   That poor praise is very dear;
   If you’ve any word of cheer
   Tell him so.

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   1. Laurie@CompulsiveOvereatingDiary Post authorAugust 16, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      But, I said that I was so happy you had someone like your uncle in your life. I had always wished I had someone like that in the family. Someone I could count on and talk to, someone who I could confide in and who would tell me I was going to be okay, and that I was good and lovable just the way I was. Someone who would give me a hug and just accept me, as-is.
      That’s so important.

      Suz, your size and your experience with food is not everything you are. You have had pain and joy and everything in between, because you are human. I am really bitchy sometimes, I’m messy, I talk too much. I don’t like to clean, but I like a clean house. But I’m also caring, funny, and have a good voice, I guess. I’m loving and even if I have a big bottom, I have pretty hair (when I remember to comb it). I KNOW that you are a variety of attributes too, and all of them are the special recipe that makes you, you. Hugs, Hugs, Hugs

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