Hello Brave Companions!
I think this is the FIRST time I’ve ever wrapped up some of my breakfast when I had prepared what is a usual serving for me. I’m so used to calorie counting that I prepare and eat whatever I make! When eating out I do regularly bring home leftovers and will stop eating when satisfied since US restaurant portions are WAY OVERSIZED for what I can eat. But I have never done this before at home. Hmmm interesting. It may be that I need to serve myself MORE food so I can feel it’s ok to stop eating when satisfied.
What’s that you say body? Speak up, I can’t quite hear you!
It is so surprisingly difficult to understand body’s cries and coos after 50 years of ignoring or suppressing hunger/fullness signals. Yesterday afternoon, I ate when I knew I wasn’t really hungry, because I was nervous and edgy, BUT because of my practice could not really eat much, because I was SO aware of how full I was after very few bites. This AM I woke up with that weird empty/full feeling that happens when your gut is still working on yesterday and your tummy is empty today. I decided to eat a little and see what happens. It took very little egg and toast for tummy to feel ok. I actually wrapped up the rest of my breakfast for later. In the past, I would have tried to wait to eat for several hours until my gut was as empty as my tummy, feeling that I didn’t deserve to eat yet. This new approach of feeding tummy worked much better. I feel balanced and peaceful. My energy is now back where it should be, and thoughts of food are for once, not on my mind. Very interesting process. Again, not easy. Not quick weight loss, or even guaranteed weight loss, but right in line with my goal of living where I don’t fear food, love food, and live an integrated life where relationships with people take precedence.
Laurie, I really enjoyed the insights you shared on Episode 55. I think you are getting to some interesting new territory. I guess that no matter what behaviors we all do to avoid or mitigate feelings, they are still there waiting for us. But you give us courage to take those feelings on as you seem to be dis-empowering them to some extent and you are still standing! Honestly, I think we imagine things to be so much worse than they really are and your revelations are proof of that. Keep up the courageous work, Brave Companions.
Thanks Sandy, I’m glad you liked that one. To be honest, I was a bit scared I was a rambling loon – but that’s my perfectionist self butting into my mind again 🙂
I am finding it really interesting living life on the edge without dieting or bingeing and dealing with emotions. I almost need to find a new hobby there is so much time and energy freed up even at this early stage in my process. Even though I weigh the same, I feel much, much lighter. I’m glad you stopped by my friend 🙂
I admire the way you’re learning to listen to your body. Makes one wonder how good we were at that when we were 2, for example… I didn’t eat a lot when I was a toddler (till around age 6). My parents worried and worried. The pediatrician told them to leave me alone, that I’d eat when I was hungry… Sounds like they knew way back then about the whole intuitive eating thing, doesn’t it…
It does make me wonder how we managed to so skew how and why we eat in our various societies. Once upon a time, we KNEW if we were hungry, and if we had some food, we ate it. Now, it seems as if the LAST reason on Earth to eat is because our body needs energy. The most eye-opening thing to me is the difference I feel from NOT being overfull or empty. Being continually at the middle of the tummy gas-tank makes so much difference in my brain power as well as my physical energy. I can do chores or have fun or some combo of these all day long and then sleep pretty well at night. Amazing! I have not been well nourished, despite my excess poundage. My main thing now, is I am so used to guessing how much I will need to eat from calorie counting, that I tend to cheat portions down. Again, counter intuitive, but I need to serve myself bigger portions so I can stop when I hit 6 or 7 instead of a 5 and then waiting and getting hungry again right away. I end up with MORE calories by under-eating twice, then by eating enough the first time. Does this make sense?
Yeah, it sure does…