Tag Archives: Body Image

Ep 0101 – Bonus – Pondering Body Image on the Beach

Laurie in a swimsuit in a chair by the pool
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I take a few minutes to feel good by the pool. I just had fun splashing in the water and am warming in the sun. I’m not thinking of my size – just enjoying the sensations.

Podcast Recap

Letting go of being motivated from the outside. Reviewing my rage at size prejudice – e.g., the Simpson’s latest episode. A sample of my latest character voice work as a bulldog as requested by Sue from the UK and Suz. Cheryl has Foolish Fun introducing us to Penelope, her inner insomniac.

Waves in distance, beach and large rocks in foreground

Here’s a shot of the rocks I sit on when I record at Ventura

Laurie in profile at the beach with hair blowing across her cheek.

The wind whips my hair around like crazy as I’m sitting on my podcast rock here at the beach in Ventura.

Blue skies, pond in sandy beach dotted with birds, green hills in back

A pond filled with birds near the rocks where I record.

Mentioned

Pantages Theater

Marc Cashman’s site

Cheryl’s New Writing Blog, Impromptu Promptlings

COD pages and posts

Epic Show 100!

Blog post of rage about the Simpsons and my gratitude for the kindness of strangers

My weight story photos

Status Index

Want to be part of the Brave Companion Song?

How to Send your audio for the Brave Companion Song or Foolish Fun or To tell your Story

    Note: For the Brave Companion Song

  1. please say your name
  2. where you are from in general
  3. why you are brave or like being a BC

Note: For Foolish Fun
Tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Intuitive Eating Book on Amazon – please use the links below

Intuitive Eating

Ways to support the show financially

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

My Second Twitter Account JUST for bravery sayings @TheBraveryCoach

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver
Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro Announcer: Mark Weaver
Laurie’s Voice Acting Director: Marc Cashman

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Sounds used in Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro

  • Slide Whistle sounds
    http://www.freesound.org/people/plingativator/sounds/188873/
  • Background Tune/Beat
    http://www.freesound.org/people/siakitty/sounds/38478/
  • Girl’s Laughter
    http://www.freesound.org/people/choplin/sounds/109759/
  • Phone Ring
    http://www.freesound.org/people/winsx87/sounds/152028/

Resource of the day

Continue reading

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Fitting In – Hating the Simpsons and Loving the Kindness of Strangers

Laurie in bike gear looks out to sea with rolling waves on a sunny day.
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I take a moment to reflect on the beauty of the day and how lucky I feel to be on this ride. I don’t take my mobility or the weather for granted.

Holy F Even Cartoons Are Creating Body Shame These Days!

Just before Mark and I left to drive up to Ventura for another few days of R and R riding the beach, I killed time by watching the Simpsons, a long running cartoon that skewers American culture, family stereotypes , fads and every other thing you can think of. It centers around Homer, a beer-guzzling, donut bingeing, somewhat good-hearted, somewhat clueless idiot, his long-suffering blue-haired wife Marge, and his three kids. I usually enjoy the Simpsons, and since I’ve been studying voice acting, I watch as many cartoons as possible to mimic the voices and study the line delivery.

But imagine my chagrin, when this episode centered around Homer’s fat ass being stuck in an auditorium chair and his ripping the entire row up as he tried to rise for a standing ovation for a performance of his kids. He then went on to exclaim about “Don’t fear me”, inferring he, and his fat-assedness were indeed monstrous. Homer then was persuaded by Marge to go to Fattie’s Anonymous to get help losing weight, and instead, comically landed in a support group for being proud of your size. This group glorified gaining weight as wonderful, were shown as blubberous idiots in denial of their health, and even as Homer has the wondrous realization that for once he could be PROUD of who he actually was, the group is arrested for protesting, can’t fit in the cell, the leader dies at 23 from heart failure as he attempts to rise from his scooter chair, and the funeral gag showed about 25 urns of ashes being needed for this big fatties’ cremation. The end result? Homer says to Marge, “I’m sorry Marge, I’ll never try to be proud of myself again. I’ll yoyo diet until I get it right”. Then we see the years flash by as Homer balloons and shrinks, becomes buff and big and small and flabby, until finally he is buff and his now adult kids are proud of him when Homer is about 65 years old. Yes, I admit the Simpsons had good jokes in this episode, and this show skewers every group eventually. But I couldn’t believe how depressed I was by it. For the underlying societal expectations could not be more clear.

  1. You are a sloppy monster (not one of us) if you can’t fit in a seat
  2. You should be ashamed of yourself if you are not trying all you can to get thin
  3. Large size equals ill health and death

Sigh.

This really bugged the hell out of me and I am struggling to let it go. Now, it is NO surprise to me that in my culture, body fat is considered bad in every way. It is no surprise that fat people are considered “less than” and somewhat stupid – after all, ONLY an idiot would not address this BURNING HEALTH ISSUE. So what if there are eating disorders blooming all across the nation based on these ideas? After all, isn’t it BETTER to be THIN at ANY COST? I say no, but then again, I am not thin.

I am putting my energy into living my life outside of the focus and compulsion of trying to change my body. Unlike Homer, for the the last year, I have not yo-yoed “Trying to get it right”. I have instead accepted my body, even while I WISH I could fit in seats better.

The only positive I can see from this cartoon episode is that I identify anger at these ideas and portrayals vs. at myself for being one of the skewered group. This is huge. I don’t feel compelled to change so as not to be laughed at by a cartoon stereotype. I don’t accept the stereotype. I don’t dispute some of what the stereotype is based upon. I can also take a joke. But what this episode represents makes me very sad. Not for me, but that I live in a society that cannot accept size as an actual usual difference among humans.

Love you K from the Pantages

This damned Simpsons episode could not have come at a worse time. As I have ranted during my show, my pair-shaped butt and large thighs do NOT fit into coach seats on airplanes OR in the small, historical seats of the Pantages Theater in Hollywood where Mark and I have season tickets. Note that Mark weighs much more than I do, AND he’s about 7 inches taller. And HE can fit because his weight is in his tummy, not his ass. I really DO feel like a monster when I try to shoehorn myself into these seats and it’s even worse when I have a left-hand neighbor giving me the “Oh my god you are fat” glare. To be fair, this has only happened once – but that was enough.

Now It’s time to consider re-upping for next season or not. Not thinking that anything could be done (outside of me losing about 40+ pounds), I called the theater to explore possibilities. I was lucky enough to speak with a friendly, compassionate, and cool dude who I’ll call K. According to K there is a small chance that I can at least purchase the seat to my immediate left as well, later on when the season tickets are all re-purchased or not. There are some seats in the theater that have armrests that come up (but these would not work with Mark’s need to be on an aisle). So bottom line, I need to decide if the thrill of seeing the shows are worth the physical and emotional discomfort of the theater’s seats.

I loved speaking with K as he was so funny and compassionate. I told him, “I just don’t have an historic Hollywood body. I’m much more a midwest kind of lady”. We also talked about Kinky Boots and diversity and other topics. K never made me feel badly and followed up with compassion. In his email outlining my options, he added a PS,

“Remember, you are PERFECT as you are.”

Off to Ventura


Let’s leave rant-ville and focus on the fun possibilities in life. Fat ass or not, my strong legs can peddle me all over the place! I love to see the coast line, and given the weather many are suffering with Winter Storm Marcus, I am glad to be riding with MY Mark instead.

Laurie and Mark in bike gear on a sunny day on the bike trail near the coast.

Some of the times we feel closest as a couple is bike riding at the beach.

Sunny day, train tracks in foreground coastal waves beyond

You can see the waves break along the shore in Ventura. The tracks the Coast Starlight follows are seen here.

Sunset into the sea

Another melting sunset as we finish our bike ride.

Body Balance


Since I’m blogging, I’m combining my status here:

BB (Body Balance) number 9 Sleep: 9 hours divided (good first 4, good next 4, good last 1) Tummy/Gut: balanced. Hungry after 1 hour of waking. Small breakfast satisfied. Will eat again before our ride. Energy: High. Mood: Happy and grateful (except for the seat fitting rage)

BB is my personal criteria, and I don’t think too hard about it. I ask myself at the keyboard, what is my BB? A number between 1-10, including halves, pops into my head. I write it in my post Then I figure out why it is higher or lower and gently make note.

If you are interested these are my measures.

  1. Sleep. Quality and Amount.
  2. Tummy/Gut – If I ate what my body asked for, usually above and below the belly button feel balanced. Ate too much, below the belly button feels more full. Ate too little, the reverse.
  3. Am I hungry within 1 hour of waking? I have found that I feel best if I am hungry within 1 hour of waking. This tends to make my eating day even and not heavy on food in the evening. But I don’t eat if not hungry unless I’m about to ride or hike. I’ve learned I need to fuel these morning activities, or I’ll bonk.
  4. What is my energy level? Subjective, but telling.
  5. A quick look at my mood.

The Bravery Coach

TheBraveryCoach daily tweet is a morning mediation on how I either did, or can incorporate an aspect of bravery into my day. It is cheerful. It is esteem building. Those who want to follow these on Twitter may, by searching for the hashtag #bravery or by seeing my profile:

Daily Bravery Tweets via TheBraveryCoach on Twitter

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Ep 0100 – It’s been one YEAR since I began this experiment…

Sun shines on Laurie's profile. She's smiling on the mountain
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On podcast pages click the arrow to play the episode.
It’s a beautiful sunny day for looking toward the future.

Podcast Recap

It’s time for the Brave Companions to Partay! We celebrate Compulsive Overeating Diary’s one year anniversary and its 100th episode with music, good wishes, interviews and the debut of The Brave Companions’ Song featuring BCs from around the world written and sung by our own BC and talented song writer, Fionna Lane. We’ll feature greetings and well wishes from many BCs and reminisce about their roles in the show. We’ll check out the latest versions of every regular feature we’ve had on Compulsive Overeating Diary, including Foolish Fun, Mark’s No More Diet for Laurie Report, and Stéfanie’s Secret Topic of the Day. We’ll get another wonderful musical treat from Suz. We’ll go together to my writing group in Burbank, CA and talk to its founder, Samantha Marquis. I’ll read you the latest story I wrote there. Then on Bravery Saturday I’ll take you on my voice acting adventures . We’ll take a look at what it takes to polish a monolog from start to finish. We’ll have interviews with my singing teacher Viki Hilferty, my voice acting coach David Babich, and my voice acting teacher and director Marc Cashman – all sharing with us what it took to make THEIR dreams a success and their advice for us on ways we can try to do the same. It’s an awesome day of memories and surprises. Don’t miss it!

Rocks arranged as the number 100

On the way up to record Day 100, I arrange some prayer rocks in an interesting pattern…


Laurie and Viki

With my singing teacher Viki just before I start my lesson.


Laurie and David Babich in his studio by a mic in front of his bookshelves

Me with my voice acting coach, David Babich right before our interview. I really loved this day, because I feel I’m starting to ‘get’ my acting chops back.

Laurie and Marc

Marc Cashman and I squeeze into the booth. The bright light makes so many shadows, I had to adjust with Photoshop – causing these colorful reflections – artsy!

Laurie snaps a selfie wearing a princess themed sparkle sleeveless blue top.

I take my photo prior to Mark giving me the once over for his opinion on how I look. I’m of two minds here. I look good, but can tell I weigh more than I’d like.

Mentioned

The Writer’s Group Meetup – Write it up! In Burbank

My Singing Teacher, Viki Hilferty’s site

My Voice Acting Coach, David Babich’s studio site

My Voice Acting Teacher and Director, Marc Cashman’s site

Fionna’s Blog, Fionna Sings

Compulsive Overeating Diary Episodes Mentioned

Day 33 Where I first Sing my Garden Song and start my bravery adventures

Intuitive Eating Book on Amazon – please use the links below

Intuitive Eating

Ways to support the show financially

Want to have Fun Being Foolish too?

Participate in our new feature called “Foolish Fun“. Just call the bravery hotline 206-350-6445 or check out the send audio page on https://www.compulsiveovereatingdiary.com/how-to-send-audio/
And tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

My Second Twitter Account JUST for bravery sayings @TheBraveryCoach

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver
Special Interview about Laurie’s progress: Mark Weaver
Guest Interview – Laurie’s Writing Group Leader: Samantha Marquis Creator of Write it Up! Burbank
Guest Interview – Laurie’s Singing Teacher: Viki Hilferty from Hilferty House
Guest Interview – Laurie’s Voice Acting Coach: David Babich of Voice Los Angeles
Guest Interview – Laurie’s Voice Acting Teacher and Director: Marc Cashman of Cashman Commercials
Foolish Fun Announcer: Mark Weaver
Foolish Fun Content: Dawny
Stéfanie’s Secret Topic Intro Announcer: Mark Weaver
Stéfanie’s Secret Topic concept, content and voice by: Stéfanie Lepage
Laurie’s No Diet Report Announcer: Mark Weaver
The Brave Companions’ Song: Written and Sung by Fionna Lane of Fionna Sings
The Brave Companions’ Song participants: Amy from Wisconsin, Cheryl, Dawny, Fionna, Maria from a Spanish speaking country, Patt, Sandy, Stéfanie from Quebec, Sue from the UK, Suz, Mark, and Laurie
Laurie’s Garden Song: Written and sung by Laurie Weaver
Laurie’s Garden Song accompaniment: Suzanne
Piano Extra: Suzanne
Gwedolyn and Foobie Hit the Beach: written and voiced by Laurie Weaver
Greetings and Well wishes: Alen Standish, of Progress, Not Perfection, Cheryl, Dawny, Sue from the UK, Suz, and Mark

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Sounds used in Stéfanie’s Secret Topic Intro

  • Space background loop
    http://www.freesound.org/people/zagi2/sounds/178573/
  • Space Alien ray gun zap sound
    http://www.freesound.org/people/NoiseCollector/sounds/43041/
  • The Human Has been Neutralised
    http://www.freesound.org/people/cityrocker/sounds/128649/
  • Eating Chips
    http://www.freesound.org/people/fresco/sounds/48933/
  • Zen Cello
    http://www.freesound.org/people/Nightlife999/sounds/144971/

Sounds used in Laurie’s Foolish Fun Intro

  • Slide Whistle sounds
    http://www.freesound.org/people/plingativator/sounds/188873/
  • Background Tune/Beat
    http://www.freesound.org/people/siakitty/sounds/38478/
  • Girl’s Laughter
    http://www.freesound.org/people/choplin/sounds/109759/
  • Phone Ring
    http://www.freesound.org/people/winsx87/sounds/152028/

Sounds used in Laurie’s No-Diet Report Intro

  • News Jingle
    http://www.freesound.org/people/mansardian/sounds/61322/
  • News Ting
    http://www.freesound.org/people/robni7/sounds/174027/

Magic sound used in Gwendolyn and Foobie Hit the Beach

http://www.freesound.org/people/Robinhood76/sounds/178318/

Crowd cheering sounds used in the opening

  • Crowd Cheering
    http://www.freesound.org/people/xtrsounder/sounds/202498/
  • Bells and cheering
    http://www.freesound.org/people/sagetyrtle/sounds/36162/

Resource of the day


How to achieve your dreams
by MatYooProductions, a wonderful little simple animation with a large impact.Highly recommended!
Comments box:

Ep 0099 – Don’t Define Yourself by One Thing – Get Ready to Celebrate!

Laurie in a colorful jacket looking up on a sunny day
Scroll to the "Comments box" or call 206-350-6445 to tell us what you think.
On podcast pages click the arrow to play the episode.
I watch the birds overhead at the next to top Zen place and feel some much needed peace.

Podcast Recap

Letting go of defining ourselves by outside attributes. I’m a person with a podcast vs. I’m a podcaster and why the change in perspective helps. Next show is day 100 and will be recorded exactly one year since Compulsive Overeating Diary was launched. Please lend your voice to the celebration! How to be part of the Brave Companion song. Go ahead and post your general thoughts and issues on the status pages. A fun trialog from voice acting class with scene partners, Rhonda Clarke and Tom Smith. Welcome to new BC, Adam from Seattle. Mark is so moved by Suz’s brave words last show, he posts his first comment on the blog. Amy from Wisconsin is on the bravery report for her call to the bravery hotline about how facing the Dr.’s scale can be an emotional trigger.

Laurie in her colorful jacket and podcaster shirt.

It’s funny that I’m wearing my podcaster shirt on the day where I forgo defining myself that way.


Path on the mountains on a blue sky sunny day.

A beautiful view on a sunny day. It makes me appreciate how lucky I am to make this physical and emotional journey.


Laurie's lunch plate

What I was hungry for after hiking on day 99. It’s Punjab choley with greens and guac on brown rice tortilla with pink lady apples. I’m not on a diet, nor am I a vegan. But when I listen to my body, this kind of food is often what it wants

Mentioned

My first show, Daily Adventure Tales

Dr. Nina’s blog

Link to Alen’s show with Dr. Walen about men and eating disorders

Comments from BCs

Adam’s comments on my 1/22/15 status page.

Suz’s welcome to Adam

Mark’s support of Suz on Day 98

COD pages and posts

Day 98 with Suz’s brave audio about distrust

Day 16, with the FIRST bravery hotline call from Janet

Want to be part of the Brave Companion Song?

How to Send your audio for the Brave Companion Song or Foolish Fun or To tell your Story

    Note: For the Brave Companion Song

  1. please say your name
  2. where you are from in general
  3. why you are brave or like being a BC

Note: For Foolish Fun
Tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Intuitive Eating Book on Amazon – please use the links below

Intuitive Eating

Ways to support the show financially

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

My Second Twitter Account JUST for bravery sayings @TheBraveryCoach

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver
Voice Acting Director: Marc Cashman
Voice Acting Scene Partner: Rhonda Clarke
Voice Acting Scene Partner: Tom Smith

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Continue reading

Comments box:

Ep 0098 – Depression and Ranting and Welcome New BCs!

Laurie's face is really red as she eats and orange.
Scroll to the "Comments box" or call 206-350-6445 to tell us what you think.
On podcast pages click the arrow to play the episode.
My face is burning and I need some moisture and energy from the exercise on such a hot day. My tangerine to the rescue!

Podcast Recap

Despite my latest bout with depression, I hike the mountain to let go of self-anger. I fill you in on my social media changes. Welcome to three new BCs, Lisa, Happy, and Natalie from Australia. Suz goes on the bravery report for her live commentary about Day 97 and how it triggered her to consider the origins of her distrust and people pleasing. Suz gives a shout-out to Brandi for her bravery hotline call on day 48. I share the highs and lows of my latest voice acting adventures. I then use my best voice acting skills to read you my watershed blog post, Warning! Catharsis ahead – not for the faint hearted! Strong Language! And btw, I DON’T have a blasted weight problem! I welcome new BC, June who commented on that post and feature Dawny’s supportive comment.
Blue skies and sparse trees against the sky.

The start of the trail. Man it is hot! But it is also very beautiful. I take a minute to post to IG so Sophie will know what music I’m rocking out to as I climb.

Mentioned

Comments from NEW BCs

Lisa’s comment on Day 96

Cheryl’s welcome for Lisa

Stéfanie from Quebec’s welcome for Lisa with her handle on MFP

Happy With My Body’s comment on Day 17

Happy_With_My_Body on Instagram

Natalie from Australia’s comment on Day 20

June’s comment on my ranting blog post

COD pages and posts

My blog post about depression

Day 97 that Suz did her commentary on

Day 48 where Brandi called the bravery hotline

My blog post rant

Dawny’s supportive comment on my Rant

Bravery Sayings

My Second Twitter Account JUST for bravery sayings @TheBraveryCoach

Want to be part of the Brave Companion Song?

How to Send your audio for the Brave Companion Song or Foolish Fun or To tell your Story

    Note: For the Brave Companion Song

  1. please say your name
  2. where you are from in general
  3. why you are brave or like being a BC

Note: For Foolish Fun
Tell us a joke, riddle, a silly story, limerick, sing a song, play a kazoo, ANYTHING but talk about compulsive eating. This is the feature where messing up is just part of the act! No names required and Silly Aliases are AOK! Need ideas? See Day 54’s Resource of the Day for my page of ToonaCat Jokes

Intuitive Eating Book on Amazon – please use the links below

Intuitive Eating

Ways to support the show financially

Catch up with Laurie

My Spreaker page. Please follow me there if you are on Spreaker.

My Instagram page at LaurieDreamWeaver

FaceBook Page if you want to sign up for our email list by clicking Tiger the Cat’s Sign-up button

My Second Twitter Account JUST for bravery sayings @TheBraveryCoach

Laurie on Tumblr

My page with instructions for all of the ways (so far) that you can send audio and lend your voice to this podcast.

New free way to leave voicemail http://speakpipe.com/laurieweaver You can also click the blue button on this page that says ‘send a voice message.’

Bravery Hotline

Leave your comments, questions, feelings and stories on Laurie’s podcast voicemail hotline – 206-350-6445.

Credits

Host: Laurie Weaver
Commentary: Suz
Voice Acting Coach: David Babich
Voice Acting Director: Marc Cashman

Main Theme:I’m Letting Go by Josh Woodward from The Simple Life Part 1

I’m Letting Go (Josh Woodward) / CC BY 3.0

Resource of the day

Continue reading

Comments box: